As most of you probably know, I am very indecisive. Like you probably shouldn’t ask me what I want to eat for dinner because I honestly won’t know. I (surprisingly) declared a major that I love SO much, but I’m still not entirely sure what I want to do with that major or what I want to do after I graduate next May. Lately, I’ve been struggling a lot with that decision (because I’m a worry wart), but I’ve learned many things the past few days that have made me less worried about it so I’m going to share some of it with you (mostly for my own benefit but hopefully yours too)!
- God’s timing is always perfect. Maybe it’s not when I want it, but it’s when He wants it. Honestly, I would have rather come into college with my whole life planned out knowing exactly what I wanted to do, but that’s not what He wanted, and I have to accept that. Lazarus is a perfect example! Mary and Martha sent to Jesus and told Him that their brother was sick, and when Jesus heard, He stayed two days longer where He was before He went to them. Obviously, that’s not what Mary and Martha had in mind. They wanted Him to come heal Lazarus ASAP. When Jesus finally arrived four days after Lazarus died, Martha and Mary told him that He was too late and His response was “If you believe, you will see the glory of God.” Then He raised Lazarus from the dead. All I have to do is believe that God will somehow work out my life the way it’s supposed to, and it will happen. Maybe not the way I expect or when I expect it, but it will all go exactly as He planned it. There’s no surprises for Him!
- Psalm 139- it’s just what I needed, and it’s cool how God shows me things exactly when I need them. Basically, the Lord knows EVERYTHING about me. While that’s terrifying at times because that means He knows every sin I’ve ever committed, it’s also relieving. Like I said, nothing surprises Him. Everything I do, He knows I’m going to do it before I do it. It also means that He’s always with me. I’m never alone in anything I endure ever. I always have a friend! Then verse 14 reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. How amazing is it that God created me wonderfully. There is no fault in me that He didn’t create wonderfully. I’m imperfect, but He still loves me so much that if it was just me on this Earth, Jesus would have still died for my sins. Wow. That just blows my mind because I truly don’t deserve His love. His grace and mercy is so wonderful!
- Going along with that He created me for a purpose, and not only that, but He has always known that purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” And Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I may not know that purpose exactly yet, but He does, and I just have to trust that whenever I need to know it, He’ll show it to me. His plans for me are unknown to everyone except for Him, but I do know that they’re plans for good, and that’s honestly all I need to know. Of course, I would love to know what exactly those plans are, but that’s where the trust and patience come in.
- Pray, pray and pray some more and then be still and listen. Praying isn’t something I necessarily struggle with but listening definitely is. I have this problem where I worry so much that I just pray continuously over and over for the same thing which I feel like doesn’t accomplish anything. It just proves that I have a trust problem, but I do it because you know Philippians 4: 6 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” But my prayers are nothing if I don’t stop and listen to what God is saying. Yes, I’m supposed to pray without ceasing, but I’m also supposed to trust God by being still. Sometimes I’m so loud (not out-loud as you all know) that God can’t get a word in. When I’m listening, He’ll show me the answers that I long for.
Ultimately, I need to trust God. I don’t need to worry about my future and decisions because everything will work out! The answers will come eventually. Patience, Mikayla! I need to pray and know that He is good all the time. No matter what happens, He is still good and is worthy to be trusted and praised. Thanks for being cool and putting up with me, God. You’re the only man who seems to be able to (besides my dad).