recent reads, all time favorites and to reads

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In middle school, the first books that got me into reading were the Twilight series and the Christy Miller series (which turned into the love of ALL books by Robin Jones Gunn- she’s still my all time favorite author and Christy and Todd are actual couple goals). Throughout middle and high school, I was very into fiction books. Nicholas Sparks, Sarah Dessen, the Divergent series, the Hunger Games series and many other stories along the way… you get the drift. (And I’m very embarrassed to admit that I’ve never read the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter books… what is wrong with me, really?) But lately I have been on a nonfiction kick. So, I wanted to share with you some of the books I’ve read as well as some that are on my to-read list that I already know will be amazing.

First up, my current read:

Executing Grace by Shane Claiborne
I’ve been wanting to read a book by Shane for a while now and when I found out about this one, I knew it was one that I had to read. I’m only two chapters in right now, but it has already challenged me in how I think about the death penalty. I know many people will automatically turn away from this book especially if they are pro-death penalty because Shane is making the argument against it. But he writes it in a way that appeals to all audiences. For a long time, he was for the death penalty and he recounts what made his opinion change while having compassion and understanding for those who are for it. He also doesn’t leave a subject or role in executions untouched. He covers it all, has real-life examples and stories and Jesus is laced throughout the entire book. I’m very excited to finish reading it, and I highly recommend it!

Current devotional:

Savor by Shauna Niequist
I received this as a gift at Christmas and was very excited to get a devotional. I’ve admittedly been struggling in the quiet time department and was thankful to receive something that could be a guide for me during that time. Since it’s a daily devotional, I decided to start it on January 1st. Again, I’ll admit I’ve gotten a few weeks behind on it recently. But I’m hoping to get back into it. So far, I really enjoy reading what Shauna has to say. It’s not the deepest writing ever, but it’s a good pick-me-up during the day.

Next up, my recent favorites:

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
This book, y’all. I think this book is a new all time favorite. It’s a book that I could 100% see myself reading again (and I don’t re-read books often) and a book I could post a quote from every day. Bryan is one of my favorite people. My first exposure to him was a TED talk by him that I watched in one of my classes. Let’s just say that I’ve now seen that TED talk probably ten times. Bryan is a lawyer and the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative. He’s been on the front lines of the injustices within the criminal justice system for years and has been an advocate and warrior in fighting to correct those injustices. This book is full of heartbreaking as well as celebratory stories that he experienced first-hand. Before reading this book, I would have considered myself fairly knowledgeable of the injustices within the CJ system but I learned so much from this book and I know I’d learn even more if I read it again. There were stories that almost brought me to tears, stories that made me full of anger at the injustices, but the book was also full of grace and mercy and redemption and it is beautiful. It is a beautiful book and you should read it.

Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
Sarah Bessey has been one of my favorite social media presents for a little while now. So when I got this book, I was excited to dig into her actual work. Jesus Feminist probably sounds scary to some people (oh no, the F-word!), but I think this is a book for everyone (male or female). Even if you don’t think you consider yourself a feminist, Sarah does an excellent job of redefining the word in a Biblical context. She quite literally revisits the role of women in the church, and it was very inspiring to me. Sarah’s voice and writing is stunning. She is extremely knowledgeable of the gospel, and it’s obvious that she has done her research. Again, I’d recommend this book in a heartbeat. I’m looking forward to reading her new book, Out of Sorts, when my to-read list gets a little less long.

Books I’ve started but not quite finished:

America’s Original Sin by Jim Wallis
Jim is the founder of Sojourners, a faith-based online news outlet (of sorts). I stumbled across Sojourners a while ago and instantly fell in love with their mission. Their articles are some of my favorites to read. Currently, one of my good friends is interning for them and I was given this book by her before she left. I got about a third of the way through before I (temporarily) abandoned it and moved on to something else. It wasn’t at all because I didn’t love it. Jim has amazing and knowledgeable input on racism, and this book is most definitely an important and necessary read. For some reason, I just had to take a break from it, though. I think the writing was just a little too long and hard for me at the time I was reading it. But eventually, I look forward to finishing it up. I would definitely recommend that everyone check out Sojourners as well as this book.

Faith Unraveled by Rachel Held Evans
I started this book, but then I think I got another book that I really, really wanted to read so I put this one down and picked that one up. Rachel is another one of my favorite people on social media, and I’ve been wanting to read one of her books for a while. This was the first one I found (and also her first book I think) so I got it. I only got a few pages in before I moved to the other book, but I have a feeling that I’m going to like it. I don’t agree with every single thing that Rachel believes, but I enjoy learning more about her viewpoint so I’m excited to dig deeper into her faith journey. I’m also looking forward to eventually reading her other books as well.

Finally, my to-read list:

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
This book is currently sitting on my bookshelf. It scares me slightly because it looks like a textbook, but I am so excited to read it. I read a couple of chapters in one of my classes so I already know that it’s amazing. I just have to motivate myself to read the entire thing. Michelle is a law professor and an outstanding woman. She is so knowledgeable on mass incarceration, the criminal justice system and race, and all of that knowledge is revealed in this book. It’s not an easy or comfortable book to read. I know it will be challenging and uncomfortable to me, but I would easily consider this book the most important book on this list (and it’s one of the ones I haven’t read…). Like all of these books, I would highly recommend this one.

Tattoos on the Heart by Gregory Boyle
I also received this book as a Christmas present. The only thing I really know about it is that a friend posted a quote from it, I fell in love, and I wanted to read it. Gregory is the founder of Homeboy Industries, a gang-intervention program in Los Angeles. The book tells stories from his time working with the individuals in the program. In the about section on the back of the book, it says ” Tattoos on the Heart reminds us that no life is less valuable than another.” So basically, I know I’m going to love it.

For the Love by Jen Hatmaker
Jen is another one of my favorite people to follow on social media. So again, I wanted to read her books. This is just the book that’s currently sitting on my bookshelf. But I’m looking forward to reading any or all of her books. She’s hilarious but also graceful and profound. When I finally decide to read something lighter, I’m going straight to this one.

 

And that’s everything (for now)! Let me know in the comments if you’ve ever read any of these books and what you think of them if you have. Are there any you’re going to the bookstore to pick up right now? I want to know that too. Also, feel free to leave me suggestions on what I should read next. I always welcome a longer to-read list and a messier bookshelf.

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“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13
I read this verse today and it immediately reminded me of what I get to do for a living. What a blessing it is to help those in need on a daily basis.

I’ve officially been employed for a month, and I’ve got things to say. In case you weren’t aware, I work for a non-profit organization as a case manager. I have a caseload of 50 clients who all have some sort of mental illness.

It’s so strange because it is not at all what I saw myself doing and it’s not at all what is within my comfort zone. But it is so obviously where I’m supposed to be.

I joke that God applied for this position for me because while I applied for multiple positions at my organization, I didn’t apply for this one. My application ended up being transferred to my program where I was then called for an interview and then hired.  After six months of job searching, I wasn’t going to say no to a job that quite literally fell in my lap.

And I’m so glad I said yes.

Because it’s been so good. My co-workers are wonderful. I could brag on them for days. The working environment is fantastic. The hours, the schedule, the actual work I’m doing, heck even the dress code is all great. And I get paid! I’m still trying to get the hang of it all and get settled into a routine, but I think I’m going to like (love) it. I really do. I already do.

But I can’t lie and say that it hasn’t been hard. It’s been exhausting. It’s been anxiety-inducing. It’s been frustrating. And I’ve had plenty of “I have no idea what I’m doing” moments. But I know I’m supposed to be here which makes it easier to push through the difficult moments and to work all the more harder to learn faster and better.

God is so clearly pushing me to become a better me through this job because the majority of my job is doing things that would normally make me extremely uncomfortable.

For example: phone calls. I typically hate those. Even with my friends. But I probably make at least 10-20 phone calls a day.

Walking up to people’s doors. Yeah, that gives me anxiety when it’s my friend’s house. Take it up a notch… now I’m walking up to people’s doors who I’ve never met before in sometimes the sketchiest places in the city.

Driving around town. I don’t like driving when I know where I’m going. I’m so directionally challenged. But here I am driving all around the county to places I didn’t even know existed. Sometimes with other people in my car making my anxiety level even worse.

Treatment Team. Okay first of all, I love treatment team. It is so insanely helpful when you’ve got clients with a whole bunch of question marks beside them. It is a much needed time of problem solving. But y’all know discussion is my worst nightmare. Discussion points on the syllabus was the death of me and my grades in college. It has always been so hard for me to speak up in those types of settings. So naturally it’s still a difficult time.

But God is teaching me that I have to press on. I have to overcome my anxiety, awkwardness and fear. I have to do these things that make me uncomfortable because IT’S MY JOB. I have no choice but to do them. It makes absolutely no sense to me why I got this job. But I know God wants me to learn and grow as a person through it. I know it’s where God planned for me to be. If it wasn’t, every door that opened and every moment that lined up perfectly wouldn’t have happened. So, I’m going to keep working as hard as I possibly can.

I thought I’d hate having a job and being a real adult. I really did. I missed college (and still do) and thought there was no way I could experience something better. But God has proved me wrong. I love working. I love helping people through my work. I love having an outlet to pursue my passions. And I genuinely can’t wait to continue moving forward and pressing on.

Some days I don’t want to go to work. Some days I don’t want to wake up at 6:15. Some days I want to give up. Some days go nothing like I planned them to. Some days I’m so exhausted by the end of the day that all I want to do is go home and get in my bed. But most days, I find something to thank God for and keep pressing on. So, that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The Importance of Listening

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Because I want America to look like this.

I think it’s safe to say that we all love a good story. Whether it’s a cheesy, love story like a Nicholas Sparks book, an action adventure movie like Lord of the Rings or a funny, light-hearted TV show like New Girl. We love them. We laugh, we cry, we gasp, we sit on the edge of our seat. We become emotionally invested in them.

So why then, since I know that we all love a good story, do we completely disregard the stories of the people sitting beside us?

Because don’t real live people matter more than Ronnie Miller, Frodo Baggins and Jessica Day? It’s an easy answer on the surface… Of course real people matter more than fictional ones. But sometimes I find it kinda hard to believe. (This coming from a girl who named her puppies Luna and Pippin.)

But ponder this… how many times do we prove by our actions (or inactions) that we care more about fictional characters than actual people? We never question or second-guess the people on TV or in the books. We may disagree with something they say or do, but we usually still love them, right? And we actively want to know how they are doing and what they are doing. I’ve even almost prayed for people who aren’t real before (honestly, what is wrong with me).

So obviously, we care quite a bit about the lives of characters. But when it comes to those actually in our lives…

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has: asked someone else how they are doing just so I can tell them how I am, had my response planned out in the heat of an argument or discussion before the other person even says their opinion, or completely ignored or disregarded another person’s experience as valid or true just because I have never had that experience.

I do those things more often than I’d like to admit, and I’m just going to go ahead and assume that you have too.

So, I think it’s time, past time really, that we all sat down and actually listened. It’s as simple as that. Sitting down and listening to our family, friends, acquaintances, strangers… people we like and people we don’t, people we agree with and people we don’t, people who look like us and people who don’t.

Instead of shouting “You’re wrong!” or “I don’t believe you!” or “That’s not true!” Why don’t we sit down, close our mouths, place our full attention on someone else and listen?

Because the truth is I cannot speak for the male experience. I cannot speak for the black experience. Or the gay, transgender, poor, mother, elderly, married, just to name a few. Because that’s not who I am.

I cannot speak for anyone’s experience except for mine. Except for Mikayla’s. I can relate to the straight, white, Christian, single, 22 year old, recent college graduate woman. But even then, I cannot speak for every person who fits those categories. Because each person lives their own unique lives differently.

Each person has their own story.

At the root, this is why it’s problematic to ask the only black person in the room to speak for their entire race. It’s why it’s problematic for white people to say that black individuals aren’t unfairly targeted by the police. Or why I can’t claim to know exactly how an LGBT person feels.

Because the truth is we don’t know how anyone else experiences the world except for ourselves. We could change that, though, if we listened.

Even when we know we’re going to disagree with someone’s opinion, let’s listen.
Even when we don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle or choices, let’s listen.
Even when we have a hard time believing that what they are saying is true, let’s listen.

It’s a choice. You don’t have to listen. You can easily choose not to. But you know, I think listening has the ability to create a more peaceful, just, loving, graceful and good society and world. Because instead of fighting, arguing, ignoring, resisting, forgetting and not caring. We would be sitting down, having honest conversation, opening up and listening.

This doesn’t mean we compromise our beliefs, opinions and ideas. It means we listen first. Then tell the one across the table (who is hopefully willing to listen now that you have listened to them) what you think. That’s it. You don’t have to end the conversation in agreement or with changed beliefs. But you can and should end the conversation in love, peace and respect and with some new insight and knowledge.

That’s the first and most important step, I think. But listening could also go as far as going out of our way to talk to those with completely different experiences so that we can learn more about diversity. It could mean, if we are in a place of higher privilege than the one we are listening to, advocating on their behalf so that their experience can be better. It could even mean something as simple as being a listening ear for a friend who has had a rough day. I would challenge all of us to do all of those things and more.

Ultimately, listening like this could mean a lot. It could be world changing. World shattering, even. I think it could even solve all the world’s problems… maybe. Combined with a whole lot of Jesus, probably.

But my point is, let’s listen. Every person’s story is important and worth hearing.

And I think we can all agree that we can never get too many stories in our lives.

So, I’ll say it again. Listen. Learn. Be a good human. And hug someone different than you.

Until next time.
Mikayla

Heaven.

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I hear a lot of fellow Christians on the subject of Heaven talking about the rewards that we will receive. About how we’ll get all of these fancy crowns and mansions. There will be glorious streets of gold. It’ll all be so amazing and like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

But honestly, I don’t get why that’s so often the focus.

Yes, those things are wonderful and sure I guess I’m pumped for it because we all know I’m not going to see those things in my lifetime here.

But in Heaven we’re going to be in the presence, the actual presence, of our Lord and Savior.

I don’t think I’m going to care if I have a crown or a mansion. I won’t care that I’m walking on streets of gold.

Because I’ll be able to worship Him perfectly forever and ever. I’ll be able to sit at His actual feet and praise everything that He has done. I’ll be able to walk by His side for eternity. Isn’t that a thousand times more beautiful and incredible than riches?

Our human minds always go straight to the riches of Heaven, but that’s not even important. We will be with God!

Admittedly, I’m not really one to want to hurry my residence in Heaven along because there’s so much more that I want to do here. But when I started thinking about it like the presence of God rather than a place with lots of riches, it became something that I can actually look forward to. The fancy and gold part of Heaven has never really been what attracts me to it. It’s just Jesus that does.

No more pain, tears, heartache, injustice, anxiety, fear, hatred, depression… so that we can just continuously joyously worship our Father with our Father without those things as distractions. Wow.

There’s also this hope that I can look forward to a place where everyone is unified. There will be a unified and peaceful body of people, with different genders, races, languages, classes, educations, interests, country of origins, backgrounds and sins, together worshiping our commonality… God. It’s so beautiful to me. We live on an earth with so many arguments and wars and conflicts and disagreements, and Heaven won’t have that. We will finally look past our differences and live together peacefully. I literally can’t wait for that.

But I also think we often get caught up in “Lord, come quickly” because we’re tired of living in this evil, messed up world and want that peace. I know I’ve definitely thought that a few times in the past few weeks alone. But I think we have to start  remembering the people, so many people, who have never heard Jesus’s name. They don’t know about His love, grace, mercy, kindness, courage, and forgiveness. They haven’t heard of His incredible act on the cross. They don’t know, and we should have compassion for them because Heaven is going to be so great.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve asked the Lord to go ahead and come just because I know I’m going to fail a test the next day. But in the grand scheme of things, that is selfish. He can go ahead and come because I know I’ll be in Heaven with Him when He does. But what about the people who haven’t heard? We should love the world enough to pray that each person knows Him before they leave this earth. And I know God will come back whenever He wants regardless of what we want or pray or hope. But we should want to see every single person in Heaven with us.

So even wishing for just ourselves to be in Heaven with Him before His timing is selfish. We are still here, living and breathing, because He is using us here to spread the gospel. Embrace that. Yes, look forward to Heaven and think of it as often as you get discouraged by this world. It’s encouraging to know where our home is. But don’t waste your time here wishing you were there. You are being used with every breath for a higher purpose and calling and it’s important. Don’t waste it.

Ultimately, it should break our hearts every time someone dies without knowing Him. Even if they were the worst person on the planet. Even if we think they somehow deserved death.

It should break our hearts.

I guess there’s two actions to do from here that I want to challenge all of us to do:

  1. Tell others about Jesus through words and also actions. Not for an extra reward in Heaven but because your heart is broken. And not just the comfortable or the easy or the ones you think deserve Jesus, but the ones that you know you’re the exact opposite from. The ones you know will be hard. The ones you know will take work. And do it with love. Love that person like Jesus so that they see Jesus before you even speak His name.
  2. And try your absolute hardest to make this world as close to Heaven as possible. Yes, it will never happen. This world will never be perfect. Sin messed that up. But we can advocate for justice and mercy and peace and love and hope and joy and unity. We can make this world better and we should. We shouldn’t complacently sit around while terrible things happen because we know it will never compare to Heaven. We shouldn’t walk by the broken man on the side of the road. This is our home for the time being so we should always strive to make it better, more like Jesus. Be healers and peacemakers and bridge builders and lovers and uniters and joy bringers. Because Jesus himself prayed… “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) And that should be our prayer too.

I imagine Heaven will be exactly like those moments of beautiful and intimate impromptu circles of friends in the middle of the parking lot singing songs of praise to the Lord in sweet fellowship. And it will be just as perfect as those moments. And those moments give me hope that snippets of Heaven can happen on earth too.

The time I had an identity crisis.

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I’m having a crisis.

I started missing high school the other day so I’m obviously having a quarter-life crisis. Really, why would I want to go back there?

Maybe worse than that is the fact that I’ve gone my entire life thinking, knowing I was a Hufflepuff, but I made a Pottermore account yesterday to find out my Ilvermorny house (Pukwudgie) and decided to get sorted into my Hogwarts house while I was at it. I was fully expecting Hufflepuff then the result came… Ravenclaw? That can’t be right. You’re drunk, sorting hat.

But after some research, I think I’ve been lying to myself. I think the sorting hat was right. I think I am a Ravenclaw. What is happening. Do I actually have enough knowledge to answer a complicated question every time I go into the common room?

The good news is that I’m fairly certain Pukwudgie is the Hufflepuff equivalent of the American wizarding school, but seriously. I’m having an identity crisis.

My serious Hufflepuff pride has turned into a confused whirlwind of canary yellow and black, blue and bronze, badgers and eagles. I can’t just change my allegiance. That’s like suddenly going from a die-hard Braves fan to a Cubs fan. WHO AM I?

I have no idea.

All I know is that I’m going to have to change my Twitter bio. And my About Me page (which needs changed anyway because I’m no longer a senior at the University of Tennessee… I’m an alum. Still weird).

It’s funny (or not) because this isn’t the first time I’ve had this identity problem.

I’ve been in a constant battle between identifying as an ISFJ or an INFJ for the Myers-Briggs personality test for a while. I’ve taken it repeatedly and gotten both more than once. I think I probably more closely align with and most often say that I am an ISFJ, but I really aspire to be an INFJ. In my ideal self, that’s what I would be. But regardless, the question still stands.

Who am I?

Because it’s not really what I want or what I thought.
But it’s exactly how God made me.

You know, I think our culture (me included) is too caught up in categories and bios and descriptions. We have to have the perfect clever but descriptive social media bio and email signature. We have to be democrat or republican, liberal or conservative, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, pro-life or pro-choice, gun laws or 2nd amendment, ISFJ or INFJ, etc, etc…
Like there’s never a scale.

But I fall in the middle ALL the time which makes me question who I am ALL the time.
I don’t fit in one certain category so who am I?

Well, I’m me. Maybe I don’t perfectly fit into socially constructed categories, but I’m me. And that’s okay.

Hi, I’m Mikayla and I’m just a person trying to figure out who she is. Trying to figure out God’s calling and purpose for her life. Trying to follow His will. Trying to find herself along the way. Trying to be confident in how God created her.

And maybe that looks like a very confused girl (or woman, rather) who can’t figure out if she’s a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff. But it also looks like a woman who is trying to embrace who she is and be confident in it no matter what anyone else says or on which side they tell her she should be on. A woman who loves the middle and hates it too but stays there anyways because it’s who she is.

A woman who is also really indecisive and maybe that’s the real problem here.

Shoot, I am clearly a mess. But the Lord thought it was a good idea to create me like this so I might as well love it. We all wish for changes in ourselves, to be a little more this or a little better at that. And don’t get me wrong, it’s good to want to improve and we should strive for improvement. But loving yourself exactly how you are is important. So, I’m choosing to love who I am even if I don’t know what exactly that is. Even in the midst of confusion and uncertainty. Even if there’s qualities that don’t make sense or that I don’t want to like. I’m choosing to love who I am.

Whoever I am, I love it. Or I’m trying to at least.

Remember that you are beautiful. Love yourself well. And love others well because they’re beautiful too.

Also, never tickle a sleeping dragon. (and that’s why I’m single)

Until next time,
Your favorite RavenPuff (or is it HuffleClaw?)

Women.

I am a woman, and I think women are wonderful.

But I don’t think society thinks that. Actually, I know that.

Well, maybe it does but only for our bodies. Only for the pleasure of men.

Women’s bodies are so sexualized. It has always perplexed me as to why men can freely walk around pretty much anywhere without a shirt on while women are continuously put down because they’re wearing a bikini, sports bra or crop top. It’s always bothered me that dress codes disproportionally affect women. It’s ridiculous that women are criticized for breastfeeding in public. People get so offended over women’s bodies being exposed, and we wonder why young women are so at-risk for eating disorders.

It’s because A) women are blasted with photoshopped images that are literally unattainable and B) their bodies are continuously viewed as objects and nothing more.

In fact, maybe we could just stop that sentence at viewed. Women’s bodies are looked at and noticed while men’s aren’t. No one notices when a man gains five pounds or if they do, they don’t care. No one cares what a man is wearing. The attention always goes straight to the female body in the room.

And we are confused to why rape and sexual assault are so prevalent?

I’m not. It’s because everything we do teaches boys that girls are objects made for them instead of human beings.

Because we tell each other that women are only valuable because they are a daughter, sister, wife or mother. We are only valuable because of our relationships to men. We are only valuable if we look good enough. We are only valuable if we are the right amount of feminine and nothing less and nothing more.

But that’s not true.

We are valuable. We are loved. We are important. We can contribute. We are capable.

Simply because we are humans.

Our identity is not found in the men who surround us. Our identity is found in Christ.

We are able to do so much more than society tells us we can do. We can do anything because Philippians 4:13 doesn’t just apply to men .

And it would be really cool if men would stop getting in the way of that by telling us we can’t. By not supporting us. By using our bodies for their pleasure and telling us that it is the only valuable thing about us. By catcalling. By raping. By making us go home and change instead of staying in class to learn. By pointing at a picture in a magazine and asking us why we don’t look like that. By telling us to stop feeding our babies. By mansplaining. By telling us our sexual assault was our fault.

And I could go on and on and on…

Think of how beautiful it would be if all men stood behind and with women instead of in front of them blocking their view. Gosh, that would be amazing. I can’t wait for that day.

I’m so privileged. I have not been pushed aside like too many women have, and my heart hurts so badly for them. I want them front and center. I want them to accomplish everything they want to do. I want them to never go out at certain times or to certain places in fear of their safety. I want them to always be consensual in every sexual encounter. I want them to get paid the same. I want them to wear what they want and be who they want. I want them to live to their full potential. I want them to live how God intended for them to live. And I don’t want anything to hold them back. Especially men.

For both of our sakes.

Women are wonderful and beautiful and amazing and I want the world to know that. To see that. To agree with that.

But not just for our bodies. And instead for our hearts, brains, souls. Because we are breathing and here and deserve to be loved. We deserve to be heard. Because we are human just like men. Because society literally needs us to survive.

Women, remember that you are powerful. Please don’t ever feel like you’re not good enough because you are. You are, I promise. You and your own special gifts and talents can do anything and don’t forget that. Don’t allow anyone to stop you from doing your calling. Don’t let anyone stop you from following your dreams. If a woman hasn’t done it before, you can be the first. We were made for more than having babies, getting married and cleaning the house even though those things aren’t inherently bad. We were still made for so much more.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be a woman. I know it sucks sometimes. I know we have to be the ones who get pregnant, have babies and menstruate. I know we are looked at as the lesser half even though that’s the furtherest thing from the truth. But we’ll be okay. We can push through. It’s not going to be easy but we can survive because we are strong.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are SO loved,

Mikayla

Diversity and Inclusion.

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(Picture found on the UTDiversityMatters’s Facebook page)

I’m frustrated. It’s not uncommon for me. You probably know that, but today I found myself so overwhelmed with all of these negative emotions that I couldn’t even form a thought that made sense. So, naturally I’m writing about it to try to form something coherent.

This morning in my Law and Society class we talked about immigrants. Immigrants are people, and that’s all that really matters to me. I don’t care where they’re from, why they needed to leave their country, what they’ve done… All I care about is that they’re people that need help. But we (America) don’t do a good job at helping them. We make citizenship impossible to achieve. We arrest, detain and deport them just for existing. Because somehow it’s possible for a human being who God placed on this planet to be illegal for just breathing. We make it loud and clear that we are exclusive.

It’s like we’re saying “Sorry, we’re known as a melting pot but we actually don’t like anyone who doesn’t look, act or talk like us. Oh, there’s political conflict, natural disasters, war and stagnant economies in your country? Well, that’s just too bad you’ll have to deal with it or find somewhere else to go because I have to eat my post-dinner ice cream, fill up my new car with gas, charge my iPhone and watch my Netflix shows. I don’t have the time, energy or resources to help you.”

Are we really that afraid of people who aren’t like us? Are we so afraid of diversity that we’ll risk their lives? Like our luxuries and  privilege are more important than their lives. They leave their country out of fear. They don’t want to leave their home, everything they know and love, but they have to. They don’t have this big agenda to destroy America. They’re seeking refuge, and they think they can find it here. But they don’t because we don’t give it to them. Because we make them live in fear here too. Instead of being welcoming and kind, loving and caring, we make them continue to live in fear.

That entire conversation in my class this morning reminded me of the current big UT issue, The Office of Diversity and Inclusion. As most of you know, there is a bill trying to defund the office for In God We Trust decals for law enforcement vehicles and minority scholarships. Now, I have a lot to say about what they want the money to go to, but I’m going to skip that to talk about the importance of why we need diversity and inclusion. A more important conversation.

We need diversity because we’re scared of people not like us. Why is that? Because we aren’t exposed to them. Why is that? Because we aren’t inclusive. We kick people out of the country, our bakeries, our churches, you name it because we’re exclusive. Just like segregation. Only whites allowed. Only white, Christian, heterosexual, men allowed. And there’s always stereotypical reasons to allow this discrimination and oppression to happen. All blacks are criminals, all Hispanics are trying to take our jobs (like we have an entitlement to those jobs), all Muslims are terrorists. They don’t seem wrong, though, because some (a tiny minority) have done those things. We have seen them do it. But it is absolutely essential for us to remember that not everyone falls under those categories. This is why categories are so damaging. They lump all people who look the same into one category when maybe that category doesn’t fit them at all.

And I know. Trust me, I remember 9/11. I know that it scares us, it scares me. Some terrible things have happened because of outsiders. And I’ll be honest, I don’t have the magical solution. I don’t know how to keep all “bad” people out and let all “good” people in. It’s hard and complicated and tricky and risky. But all I know is that they’re people even the “bad” ones. They’re people who deserve to be treated like human beings, like a precious life worthy of living.

And I also know that less than 20% of all immigrants commit serious criminal acts. Most immigrants are arrested and deported for minor crimes like a broken tail light or not using a signal light or for simply existing in the wrong place in the wrong body.

Like I said before, I am frustrated because I want everyone on this planet to be recognized as a human. I am so tired of dehumanization, and we do it all the time. Just the other day I was reading an article about Jajuan Latham, the 12 year old who was shot as an innocent bystander by gun violence, and the comments were absolutely disgusting. The racist language being used was so dehumanizing towards all individuals of color. The violence in their words was almost as bad as the crime itself.

Dehumanization is the third step of genocide, and oh goodness are we there. I’m so scared for this nation and our inability to care or maybe our unwillingness to care. We don’t even care about our own citizens, about our neighbors, let alone the rest of the world. We only care about two things: ourselves and profit. Caring about and helping others doesn’t get us there, does it? So we just don’t do it.

I will say this. It’s easier not to care. Sometimes I miss the times when I didn’t. Caring and acting on that care is exhausting. It takes work, but it is so worth it in the end.

We’re all people created by the Creator and deserving of love and kindness because that’s what Jesus mimicked for us on the cross. He loved the unlovable, cared for the ones not cared for, sought out the ones who were ignored. I strive to be more like that every day, and I really hope you do too. We can start right here, right now on UT’s campus, not allowing the legislature to defund the Office of Diversity and Inclusion because diversity matters.

Labels.

You know what I would love? A world without labels. I was thinking about this the other day after another depressing lecture in a Sociology class (I really do love my major, I promise), and I decided that Sociology would be a whole lot less depressing without labels. Because that’s honestly where all the problems begin. That’s where discrimination and oppression start. That’s where the Holocaust began. It’s where violence and hatred and war stem from.

It all starts with labels. Labels quite literally tear us apart.

What if race had never been socially constructed. What if we didn’t call another person fat or ugly. What if we didn’t label someone based on their crime or sin.  What if we didn’t identify ourselves and others by gender, sexual orientation, religion, country, etc. What if we were all just humans. We are all just people. What if we all identified each other based on God’s image and that’s it. What if we forgave. What would happen if beauty didn’t have only one specific look?

Can you imagine? Sociologists would be studying all kinds of wonderful things instead of terrible ones.

Question: why can’t I just say that I love Jesus instead of calling myself a Christian? I mean I can, but if I said that I loved Jesus I would automatically be labeled a Christian in the head of the person I said it to. It’s automatic. This is only one example, but it makes it so obvious how necessary labels are in our world. Do they have to be necessary though?

Labels come with so many stereotypes and baggage. If you are black, you’re supposed to act one way. If you are a woman, you’re supposed to be another way. Then if you’re a black woman, you’re supposed to be something entirely different. But why can’t we all just be human beings? Seriously. Why.

I read a piece by Derrick Bell the other day where he claimed that racism is never going to go away. It’s so true and dark and can be said about sexism, ableism, ageism, whatever else. But racism (and all other “isms”) won’t go away because we’ve created race. I will always see those who look different than me, differently, maybe negatively because race exists. We created racism when we created race. And don’t tell me that race isn’t socially constructed. Yes we look different, but we made it to where skin color is the first thing we notice about someone. We made definitions out of skin color.

I just (disclaimer: this is going to be crazy radical)… I just want to live in a world where there’s no continents, no countries, no races, no labels. Where we are all one unified people. Where we don’t build walls between countries for fear of each other. Where we don’t tell others to leave our home because they don’t belong. Where we don’t tell others that they aren’t welcome. Where we aren’t afraid to be immersed in a different culture because they’re different. Where black people aren’t shot because they’re black. Where I am not commanded to be a certain way because I am a woman. I just want us to be us. Whatever that may be.

Unique but united.

I’ve given up on the fact that this will ever occur unless we can go back in time and change everything. Where’s the Doctor at? Peter Capaldi, could you come pick me up in your Tardis? Let’s go change the world.

But anyway, I look forward to… in fact, I long for the day when I arrive in Heaven where this will be reality. We won’t notice any labels about each other… we’ll just be rejoicing together. Unified. But until then, I will try my best to love everyone and treat everyone like they are human. Like they are me even when they are different than me. Knowing that God loves them just as much as He loves me. Loving them with crucifixion love instead of reciprocal love not expecting anything in return… sacrificing something. Just loving despite of the labels. Loving even though I’ve been socialized to see labels. Choosing to love anyways.

Guns are not more important than people.

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I don’t know when precious guns became more important than actually precious human lives, but I don’t like it. I don’t know when my life became more important than a potential robber’s life, but I don’t like that either.

I also don’t like guns. They terrify me. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t love them. It doesn’t mean that you can’t use them or own them. The second amendment is clear that we all have the right to bear arms.

Guns are such an idol, though. Why is your right to bear arms more important than people in poverty or the oppressed? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why the protection of the second amendment is one of the most fought for issues. Why not the basic rights for those who don’t have any? Food for the hungry? Maybe homes for the homeless? I don’t get it.

And I am absolutely exhausted from hearing about gun violence. Exhausted. And angry. Heartbroken. Confused. Shocked. Dismayed. Depressed.

There’s already been 135 gun deaths in 2016.

Since 2011, there has been a public mass shooting every 64 days.

As President Obama recently pointed out, America is not the only country with violent people, and we are not more prone to violence than other countries. But we are the only advanced country that has mass violence at this scale. And apparently we don’t care. Because when moves are made to try to decrease the violence, we lash out and firmly say no because we’re scared of our precious guns being taken away.

Maybe it’s naivety, but I trust people. I see the good in people. And our President said in his speech that he did not have an agenda to take away your guns, and I believe him.

Gun control is good. Stricter laws on background checks is good. While it will not completely erase gun violence. It will save some lives. And some is better than none.

And “locking away all of the criminals, thugs and bad guys” is not going to more effectively solve the problem than gun control laws.

While I don’t like that mental health care was considered beside gun control like they are one in the same, I am glad that more funding is going to mental health. I find it troubling that the stigma of mental illness is automatically associated with violence, but  many suicides are committed with guns and some gun owners are haunted by mental illnesses that make them violent meaning they probably shouldn’t own guns. Regardless though, mental health is something that desperately needs more attention, and I’m ecstatic that it’s getting some.

Also, guns do need to be safer. Far too many people, children in particular, die from accidental gun injuries. This is a combination of unsafe storage and unsafe manufacturing. Both of which need to be addressed.

And by the way, guns are different than knives. They aren’t comparable. Guns were designed to kill. Knives were not. This is why gun control is significantly more important than something like knife control. People will still die, yes. Maybe from a stab wound. People will still kill. Maybe with a knife. But maybe, just maybe the violence and deaths will decline. And with that slight hope, I say go for it. Change some laws. Make the world a little less violent. A little less heartbreaking.

Because guns are not more important than people.

I don’t completely buy this but let’s say the violence is a people problem. A sin problem perhaps. Maybe we are all just inherently evil. We are violent and want to kill others. So then why won’t we do everything in our power to help limit the violence? Why not make responsible and safe gun laws so that we don’t have easy access to act on that violence? Why not make it easier for us to act on goodness, kindness and love? Because if I had a gun sitting beside me, it would be a whole lot easier for me to act on the anger I have for the person across the room by shooting them than talking it out peacefully. Even though my heart cannot handle violence. Even though I think I’m a pacifist. Even though guns scare the crap out of me.

Many times violence is easier than peace, and we are making it so easy to be violent. We are encouraging violent responses to fear or anger instead of peaceful ones. And I know we can’t fix all of this with gun laws.

Some “good people” do bad things which is why these gun laws won’t prevent all gun violence. Some “bad people” want to own guns for self-defense but would never pick it up to willing kill someone which is why these gun laws may be unfair. They don’t solve everything. But it’s better than nothing. It’s the best thing we’ve got right now.

If you’re against gun control laws, tell me what’s better. Please. I’d really like to know. But don’t tell me in the cruel and condescending way I see in Facebook comments. Like just because someone has a differing opinion they’re an idiot or attacking you. You’re better than that. Tell me how to fix gun violence, gun deaths, without throwing everyone in jail (because I don’t like that) and without gun control laws or taking your guns away (because you don’t like that). What’s in the middle? Let’s work together and figure it out.

In all honesty, though, I would be perfectly satisfied if guns didn’t exist.

And here we are at the end of some word vomit about gun control that might make everyone hate me. I hope you enjoyed.

Here’s the full text of Obama’s speech: https://sojo.net/articles/full-text-president-obamas-emotional-speech-gun-control

Let Us Be Women Who Love.

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I’m ten pages (now eighteen) into Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey (forward by Rachel Held Evans… have I expressed how much I love both of those ladies?), not even on Chapter One yet and absolutely in love. While I would love to quote the entire book for you (or at least all that I’ve read), I’ll just leave you with a few things. The first is the manifesto Sarah begins the book with. It’s the manifesto for a magazine called SheLoves which I just discovered but it’s pretty great, and you should check it out. The manifesto goes like this:

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth now with extravagant Love.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who make room.

Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.

Let us be women who carry each other.

Let us be women who give from what we have.

Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.

Let us be women who live for Peace.

Let us be women who breathe Hope.

Let us be women who create beauty.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.

Let us be a garden for tender souls.

Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.

Let us be a womb for Life to grow.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us rise to the questions of our time.

Let us speak to the injustices in our world.

Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.

Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.

Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us listen for those who have been silenced.

Let us honour those who have been devalued.

Let us say, Enough! with abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.

Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who are savvy, smart and wise.

Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.

Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.

Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.

Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.

Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.

Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.

Let us be women who Love.

I love everything about it, and I strive to be a woman who loves like that.

Her introduction is beautifully and stunningly written so I have high hopes and expectations for the rest of the book. But in the introduction she confesses to being the person who was defensive and fought and was angry instead of being faithful and kind. As I read her confessions, I realized that sometimes I’m that person too. Probably way too often, and I don’t want to be.

She says “May there be grace and kindness, gentleness and love in our hearts, especially for the ones who we believe are profoundly wrong. The Good News is proclaimed when we love each other. I pray for unity beyond conformity, because loving-kindness preaches the gospel more beautifully and truthfully than any satirical blog post or point-by-point dismantling of another disciple’s reputation and teaching.”

I want to remember that so badly. I want to practice it. I want to be kind, gentle and loving instead of angry, argumentative and harsh. Because she’s right, it’s way more effective in sharing the gospel. It’s also exactly what God asks of us. Ephesians 4:1-3 is just one of many places in the Bible that speaks on this. “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

The last thing I’ll say about this book (for now) is the subtitle is “Exploring God’s radical notion that women are people, too.” I love that. It’s empowering to know that God thinks I’m a person. It’s sad that so many treat women as though they aren’t human. It’s discouraging to realize that it’s treated as a radical notion when it actually isn’t radical at all. But isn’t that what’s so wonderful about feminism? About Jesus? Both are striving to radically love everyone equally. Something that shouldn’t be radical but is.

Jesus was the number one lover of any and all women and any and all people. This is so important to remember. To love like Jesus is to love everyone equally and fully. Excluding no one. I long to love like that. There are people in my life who I don’t want to love which makes it impossible to love like Jesus does. So that’s my goal. To love those I don’t want to love. The ones who are hard to love.

Now onto Chapter One, Jesus Made a Feminist Out of Me… ain’t that the truth.


 

Oops, I started reading the first chapter before I published the blog so I have to add in a bit more… she begins the chapter with debunking myths about feminism (like it’s not man-hating PREACH) and urging the church to reclaim the word. Oh yes. I think I’m definitely going to like this book.

I already know that I’m going to be recommending this book to everyone so I’m just going to go ahead and tell you to read it. I don’t even care who you are or what your beliefs are… it doesn’t matter… read it.