I want to change the world.


“The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do.”

This morning during my drive to school, I was thinking about one of my two main life goals. I want to change the world (the other goal is to write a book- a little more attainable I suppose).

Both are fairly difficult goals especially changing the world. They’re pretty far-fetched, and I’m comfortable with the fact that neither may happen. But I’m not giving up on them even though it’ll be a hard road to both.

So, I was thinking about changing the world. I’m not sure how I want to reach that point. Hence the whole “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” dilemma. But I do know that it’s one of my long term goals. I want to die knowing that I made a difference. I want to feel significant and used in some way. I don’t think this is an uncommon want. Most people don’t want to live their life feeling like what they are doing doesn’t matter. Like it’s pointless. We want it all to mean something. My goal, then, isn’t much different from yours. I just want to see actual significant change happen in response to my efforts, and maybe you do too.

As I was thinking all of this, God popped in. You know, He did that thing where he just jumps into the conversation even though you weren’t really asking Him to. And He says “Hey, it’s not your job to save the world. It’s mine.”

Ouch. Okay, God. But I said “change” not “save.” They’re different. “Survey says… eeeehhhh.”

Maybe they are different, though. They do have different meanings after all, but God knows my heart. He knows my desires, and maybe my desire is to save, not change the world. And He was just reminding me that He already did that 2 thousand years ago. He did it by sending His son, the perfect lamb, to die on a cross while bearing my sin. Sin that includes my desire to take on His role of savior.

Here’s the deal. I can try to change the world, and I intend on doing so. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I can only be successful with God’s help. It’s not a fun realization for my very human “I want to be in control-ness”, but it’s a true one.  I will not be successful unless it is God’s plan, and I trust in Him as I walk through every moment of life.

I’m holding onto Matthew 19:26…

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

And Ephesians 2:10…

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

God has a purpose for me. I will be used. Maybe I won’t change the world. Maybe I won’t write a book. But He will use me. He is currently using me. And the same is true for you.

Through all of my goals and the paths to those goals, I should seek to bring glory to Him. If I win at something, it is because of Him. If I lose at something, it is also because of Him. Through all things He is glorified, and that is something I hope I hold onto through all of life’s battles.

All of this doesn’t let us off the hook, though. I still have a gigantic heart for correcting injustices and fighting for justice and equality. It’s something I will forever advocate for and forever work towards hoping to see change… if only in one person’s life. God put this compassion and empathy inside of me, and I’m not going to ignore it just because I can’t do it on my own. Christians are called to help those in need whether you feel as strongly about it as I do or not. So, I’m going to keep on pushing towards my goal, and I hope you do too… whatever your goal may be. Only now, I will keep in mind that I need God to accomplish it, and that no matter what happens… He will be glorified.

Now, what should I write my book about?


My (super awesome) Testimony That’s All About God and Nothing About Me

Here I am writing a blog when I should be doing much more productive things once again.

I’m going to write out my testimony since I’ve been saying I would do it for approximately 100 years now (that’s an exaggeration obviously). A lot of you probably don’t know it or only know some of it. And some of you do know it, but probably heard it out loud when my words sounded something along the lines of “iajmfivojaerm” (p.s. I’m much better at writing than talking if you haven’t noticed). Here we go.

I’ve been to church my whole life. In fact, I’ve been going to the same church my whole life. It’s a small, traditional, Southern Baptist church. I like it. I grew up with a lot of people thinking I was already saved. If it wasn’t a lot, then it sure felt that way. It wasn’t until I was 15 when I finally realized that I was in desperate need of Jesus. It might sound crazy, but I was actively in church for 15 years and had no clue what it was to be a Christian. I look back and I honestly have no idea why I didn’t get it. There were SO many opportunities for me to easily pray the prayer and turn away from sin, but it never clicked. There was absolutely nothing. But I heard it said once that God saved you when you least deserved it. I think that was me. I think before the Holy Spirit started calling me I wasn’t at my lowest. I didn’t need Him the most until then.

I’m glad it wasn’t until then, though. Because I know for a fact, I wouldn’t be the Christian I am today if I hadn’t gotten saved at the exact moment I did. Everything happens for a reason right?

Anyway, a year passed (from the moment I finally felt something) of guilt, leaving the church service when the invitation rolled around, praying so hard that God would keep me around because I was certain I wasn’t going to Heaven if I died and outright ignoring and disobeying God. It was truly miserable. It’s the most miserable I can remember ever feeling (but my memory sucks soo…). Because so many people thought I was already saved, I was terrified to make it publicly known that I wasn’t a Christian. I was a fake. I didn’t want people to know that (p.s.s. I also have this super annoying thing where I want people to like me).

So then, one day in the summer when I was 16, I was yard/garage selling with my mom, sister, aunt and cousin. We were in the car, and somehow it was brought up that I was the only person in the car who didn’t know Jesus (thanks a lot, guys). Then it gets a little fuzzy (refer back to my memory). But I know there were tears then I went home and prayed with my dad, but before I did I made him promise to not make me get baptized (I’m dumb). That lasted for a good month or so but then my pastor was all like “Hey. It’s time now. Get your butt in the water.” (not exactly like that but kinda close) So I got baptized on the same day as 2 (ish?) other people. One of them was my aunt’s best friend. She had been saved for a while but was too scared to get baptized (like me!) so we seriously bonded over that. Spoiler… we both made it through without dying like we thought so that was good! It was good. It needed to be done.

The rest of high school I could see myself growing more mature in my faith kind of. I think at that point I was more at a standstill. I wasn’t necessarily progressing, but I wasn’t moving backwards either. I was just there. That was until I got to college.

College has changed me so much that I don’t even like myself before it (not really but maybe). I got super involved with a ministry called the Baptist Collegiate Ministry. There I have truly learned what being a Christian is. I’ve grown so much in my faith in three years that I actually have a hard time believing it because of that ministry. The people, the activities, the everything is just so wonderful, and I couldn’t thank God enough for placing Rebekah (amazingly fantastic BCM alum who also goes to church and is also one of my best friends) into my life and for her for introducing me to the BCM. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

I’ve also grown so much more comfortable with my position as a YOKE folk (crazy college kid who likes to hang out with middle schoolers). That first year of me being a YOKE folk was rough. I was TERRIBLE. But now, I love every single minute of it, and I’m actually not that bad at it. Middle Schoolers are fantastic. And so is Jesus. Why not combine the two?

And just overall, I feel closer to God than I ever have before, and that’s the point. Continual growth is what I strive for. My hope is that tomorrow I’ll be stronger than I am today and so on. I’m not perfect (or anywhere close), but I try my absolute hardest to be as much like Jesus as I can. I fail. But He forgives me, and I’m so glad for that. I didn’t deserve salvation, but He’s just wonderful like that.

p.s.s.s. I’ve also changed quite a bit of my opinions on various topics since I got to college but that’s a blog for another day. Like I’m actually embarrassed by my previous opinions but it’s fine. All is good.

Isaiah 40


Isaiah 40:8 has been my favorite verse for a while now.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”

I just love the promise of it. While everything else in this life will eventually fade away, the word of the Lord stands forever. It’s always relevant. It’s always relatable. It’s timeless. It’s forever. I love that.

But the entire time this verse has been my favorite, I have failed to read the context around it. This is until I read it a few days ago. I’ve been reading the book of Isaiah for a little while now, and I never really knew or understood what was happening in the book until recently. Isaiah is describing all of the sin and evil going on within the nations of that day. He explains the  judgement for sin and the punishment that’s going to happen to the nations because of their sin. But he also tells of the promises of God and he gives the people hope with the foretelling of Jesus and the salvation He will bring. Isaiah 40 is one of the chapters in the book that’s there to give comfort to the people. In fact, it’s the first chapter that gives comfort to the people. The entire book before that is focusing on all of the judgement and punishment, and then this chapter comes around just in time to give the people a sense of peace. The title given in my Bible for this chapter is Comfort for God’s People. What I love about that is that it’s not just comfort for the people of that day, it’s comfort for all Christians. Anyone who belongs to God. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Just like my favorite verse says “the word of our God will stand forever.” Meaning that these words will always be relevant to anyone reading them. What I’ve seemed to have missed all this time of loving Isaiah 40:8 are the two verses before that.

A voice says, “Cry!” And I said, “What shall I cry?” All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. 

While you can take verse 8 by itself, you get so much more information when you take these three verses together. There’s a greater comparison going on than just grass and flowers to God’s word. The flesh is the grass and the beauty we see in the flesh is the flower. We are the grass. We are the flowers. We, even as Christians, find pleasure in things of the flesh daily. We find it beautiful even. Things of the world are intriguing. They pull us in just like Satan wants them to do. The sin you’re dealing with is beautiful to you or you wouldn’t be doing it. It’s attractive like a flower. The people of that day continued in their evil ways because they found it beautiful. What we need to remember, though, is that it fades. Money will fade. Possessions will fade. Greed, jealousy, worry aren’t worth it. Because the material items that cause those sins and most other sins are going to fade. Sin isn’t what is eternal. God is. His word is. Salvation is. These eternal things are what’s actually beautiful and attractive and wonderful. We just forget that sometimes. When you actually think about it, Heaven sounds so much more beautiful than anything here, but we forget just how beautiful Heaven will be in our moments of weakness. The flower looks beautiful on the outside, but deep within it’s still going to fade. It’s not going to look beautiful forever. It’s not even going to be here forever. We need to focus on what’s forever. We need to trust God’s word because it’s one of the only things that is guaranteed for forever. God’s word will never change or become irrelevant or fade away, but everything else will.

Elevation Worship puts it the best…

Oceans will rise,
Kingdoms will fall
But the word of the Lord stands forever
The sun will start to fade,
The world will pass away
But the word of the Lord stands forever
And the death will try to come
The perfect love is won
Cause the word of the Lord stands forever
The word of the Lord stands forever

Your promises remain
Forever and ever
You won’t fade away
You never, You never change
You’re unchanging God
You will never change
You’re unchanging God
You will never change
You’re unchanging God

Your kingdom is forever
Your love will last forever
All glory, all honor
Unto our God forever