The Importance of Listening

Because I want America to look like this.

I think it’s safe to say that we all love a good story. Whether it’s a cheesy, love story like a Nicholas Sparks book, an action adventure movie like Lord of the Rings or a funny, light-hearted TV show like New Girl. We love them. We laugh, we cry, we gasp, we sit on the edge of our seat. We become emotionally invested in them.

So why then, since I know that we all love a good story, do we completely disregard the stories of the people sitting beside us?

Because don’t real live people matter more than Ronnie Miller, Frodo Baggins and Jessica Day? It’s an easy answer on the surface… Of course real people matter more than fictional ones. But sometimes I find it kinda hard to believe. (This coming from a girl who named her puppies Luna and Pippin.)

But ponder this… how many times do we prove by our actions (or inactions) that we care more about fictional characters than actual people? We never question or second-guess the people on TV or in the books. We may disagree with something they say or do, but we usually still love them, right? And we actively want to know how they are doing and what they are doing. I’ve even almost prayed for people who aren’t real before (honestly, what is wrong with me).

So obviously, we care quite a bit about the lives of characters. But when it comes to those actually in our lives…

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has: asked someone else how they are doing just so I can tell them how I am, had my response planned out in the heat of an argument or discussion before the other person even says their opinion, or completely ignored or disregarded another person’s experience as valid or true just because I have never had that experience.

I do those things more often than I’d like to admit, and I’m just going to go ahead and assume that you have too.

So, I think it’s time, past time really, that we all sat down and actually listened. It’s as simple as that. Sitting down and listening to our family, friends, acquaintances, strangers… people we like and people we don’t, people we agree with and people we don’t, people who look like us and people who don’t.

Instead of shouting “You’re wrong!” or “I don’t believe you!” or “That’s not true!” Why don’t we sit down, close our mouths, place our full attention on someone else and listen?

Because the truth is I cannot speak for the male experience. I cannot speak for the black experience. Or the gay, transgender, poor, mother, elderly, married, just to name a few. Because that’s not who I am.

I cannot speak for anyone’s experience except for mine. Except for Mikayla’s. I can relate to the straight, white, Christian, single, 22 year old, recent college graduate woman. But even then, I cannot speak for every person who fits those categories. Because each person lives their own unique lives differently.

Each person has their own story.

At the root, this is why it’s problematic to ask the only black person in the room to speak for their entire race. It’s why it’s problematic for white people to say that black individuals aren’t unfairly targeted by the police. Or why I can’t claim to know exactly how an LGBT person feels.

Because the truth is we don’t know how anyone else experiences the world except for ourselves. We could change that, though, if we listened.

Even when we know we’re going to disagree with someone’s opinion, let’s listen.
Even when we don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle or choices, let’s listen.
Even when we have a hard time believing that what they are saying is true, let’s listen.

It’s a choice. You don’t have to listen. You can easily choose not to. But you know, I think listening has the ability to create a more peaceful, just, loving, graceful and good society and world. Because instead of fighting, arguing, ignoring, resisting, forgetting and not caring. We would be sitting down, having honest conversation, opening up and listening.

This doesn’t mean we compromise our beliefs, opinions and ideas. It means we listen first. Then tell the one across the table (who is hopefully willing to listen now that you have listened to them) what you think. That’s it. You don’t have to end the conversation in agreement or with changed beliefs. But you can and should end the conversation in love, peace and respect and with some new insight and knowledge.

That’s the first and most important step, I think. But listening could also go as far as going out of our way to talk to those with completely different experiences so that we can learn more about diversity. It could mean, if we are in a place of higher privilege than the one we are listening to, advocating on their behalf so that their experience can be better. It could even mean something as simple as being a listening ear for a friend who has had a rough day. I would challenge all of us to do all of those things and more.

Ultimately, listening like this could mean a lot. It could be world changing. World shattering, even. I think it could even solve all the world’s problems… maybe. Combined with a whole lot of Jesus, probably.

But my point is, let’s listen. Every person’s story is important and worth hearing.

And I think we can all agree that we can never get too many stories in our lives.

So, I’ll say it again. Listen. Learn. Be a good human. And hug someone different than you.

Until next time.
Mikayla

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Heaven.

I hear a lot of fellow Christians on the subject of Heaven talking about the rewards that we will receive. About how we’ll get all of these fancy crowns and mansions. There will be glorious streets of gold. It’ll all be so amazing and like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

But honestly, I don’t get why that’s so often the focus.

Yes, those things are wonderful and sure I guess I’m pumped for it because we all know I’m not going to see those things in my lifetime here.

But in Heaven we’re going to be in the presence, the actual presence, of our Lord and Savior.

I don’t think I’m going to care if I have a crown or a mansion. I won’t care that I’m walking on streets of gold.

Because I’ll be able to worship Him perfectly forever and ever. I’ll be able to sit at His actual feet and praise everything that He has done. I’ll be able to walk by His side for eternity. Isn’t that a thousand times more beautiful and incredible than riches?

Our human minds always go straight to the riches of Heaven, but that’s not even important. We will be with God!

Admittedly, I’m not really one to want to hurry my residence in Heaven along because there’s so much more that I want to do here. But when I started thinking about it like the presence of God rather than a place with lots of riches, it became something that I can actually look forward to. The fancy and gold part of Heaven has never really been what attracts me to it. It’s just Jesus that does.

No more pain, tears, heartache, injustice, anxiety, fear, hatred, depression… so that we can just continuously joyously worship our Father with our Father without those things as distractions. Wow.

There’s also this hope that I can look forward to a place where everyone is unified. There will be a unified and peaceful body of people, with different genders, races, languages, classes, educations, interests, country of origins, backgrounds and sins, together worshiping our commonality… God. It’s so beautiful to me. We live on an earth with so many arguments and wars and conflicts and disagreements, and Heaven won’t have that. We will finally look past our differences and live together peacefully. I literally can’t wait for that.

But I also think we often get caught up in “Lord, come quickly” because we’re tired of living in this evil, messed up world and want that peace. I know I’ve definitely thought that a few times in the past few weeks alone. But I think we have to start  remembering the people, so many people, who have never heard Jesus’s name. They don’t know about His love, grace, mercy, kindness, courage, and forgiveness. They haven’t heard of His incredible act on the cross. They don’t know, and we should have compassion for them because Heaven is going to be so great.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve asked the Lord to go ahead and come just because I know I’m going to fail a test the next day. But in the grand scheme of things, that is selfish. He can go ahead and come because I know I’ll be in Heaven with Him when He does. But what about the people who haven’t heard? We should love the world enough to pray that each person knows Him before they leave this earth. And I know God will come back whenever He wants regardless of what we want or pray or hope. But we should want to see every single person in Heaven with us.

So even wishing for just ourselves to be in Heaven with Him before His timing is selfish. We are still here, living and breathing, because He is using us here to spread the gospel. Embrace that. Yes, look forward to Heaven and think of it as often as you get discouraged by this world. It’s encouraging to know where our home is. But don’t waste your time here wishing you were there. You are being used with every breath for a higher purpose and calling and it’s important. Don’t waste it.

Ultimately, it should break our hearts every time someone dies without knowing Him. Even if they were the worst person on the planet. Even if we think they somehow deserved death.

It should break our hearts.

I guess there’s two actions to do from here that I want to challenge all of us to do:

1. Tell others about Jesus through words and also actions. Not for an extra reward in Heaven but because your heart is broken. And not just the comfortable or the easy or the ones you think deserve Jesus, but the ones that you know you’re the exact opposite from. The ones you know will be hard. The ones you know will take work. And do it with love. Love that person like Jesus so that they see Jesus before you even speak His name.
2. And try your absolute hardest to make this world as close to Heaven as possible. Yes, it will never happen. This world will never be perfect. Sin messed that up. But we can advocate for justice and mercy and peace and love and hope and joy and unity. We can make this world better and we should. We shouldn’t complacently sit around while terrible things happen because we know it will never compare to Heaven. We shouldn’t walk by the broken man on the side of the road. This is our home for the time being so we should always strive to make it better, more like Jesus. Be healers and peacemakers and bridge builders and lovers and uniters and joy bringers. Because Jesus himself prayed… “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) And that should be our prayer too.
   

I imagine Heaven will be exactly like those moments of beautiful and intimate impromptu circles of friends in the middle of the parking lot singing songs of praise to the Lord in sweet fellowship. And it will be just as perfect as those moments. And those moments give me hope that snippets of Heaven can happen on earth too.

Diversity and Inclusion.

(Picture found on the UTDiversityMatters’s Facebook page)

I’m frustrated. It’s not uncommon for me. You probably know that, but today I found myself so overwhelmed with all of these negative emotions that I couldn’t even form a thought that made sense. So, naturally I’m writing about it to try to form something coherent.

This morning in my Law and Society class we talked about immigrants. Immigrants are people, and that’s all that really matters to me. I don’t care where they’re from, why they needed to leave their country, what they’ve done… All I care about is that they’re people that need help. But we (America) don’t do a good job at helping them. We make citizenship impossible to achieve. We arrest, detain and deport them just for existing. Because somehow it’s possible for a human being who God placed on this planet to be illegal for just breathing. We make it loud and clear that we are exclusive.

It’s like we’re saying “Sorry, we’re known as a melting pot but we actually don’t like anyone who doesn’t look, act or talk like us. Oh, there’s political conflict, natural disasters, war and stagnant economies in your country? Well, that’s just too bad you’ll have to deal with it or find somewhere else to go because I have to eat my post-dinner ice cream, fill up my new car with gas, charge my iPhone and watch my Netflix shows. I don’t have the time, energy or resources to help you.”

Are we really that afraid of people who aren’t like us? Are we so afraid of diversity that we’ll risk their lives? Like our luxuries and  privilege are more important than their lives. They leave their country out of fear. They don’t want to leave their home, everything they know and love, but they have to. They don’t have this big agenda to destroy America. They’re seeking refuge, and they think they can find it here. But they don’t because we don’t give it to them. Because we make them live in fear here too. Instead of being welcoming and kind, loving and caring, we make them continue to live in fear.

That entire conversation in my class this morning reminded me of the current big UT issue, The Office of Diversity and Inclusion. As most of you know, there is a bill trying to defund the office for In God We Trust decals for law enforcement vehicles and minority scholarships. Now, I have a lot to say about what they want the money to go to, but I’m going to skip that to talk about the importance of why we need diversity and inclusion. A more important conversation.

We need diversity because we’re scared of people not like us. Why is that? Because we aren’t exposed to them. Why is that? Because we aren’t inclusive. We kick people out of the country, our bakeries, our churches, you name it because we’re exclusive. Just like segregation. Only whites allowed. Only white, Christian, heterosexual, men allowed. And there’s always stereotypical reasons to allow this discrimination and oppression to happen. All blacks are criminals, all Hispanics are trying to take our jobs (like we have an entitlement to those jobs), all Muslims are terrorists. They don’t seem wrong, though, because some (a tiny minority) have done those things. We have seen them do it. But it is absolutely essential for us to remember that not everyone falls under those categories. This is why categories are so damaging. They lump all people who look the same into one category when maybe that category doesn’t fit them at all.

And I know. Trust me, I remember 9/11. I know that it scares us, it scares me. Some terrible things have happened because of outsiders. And I’ll be honest, I don’t have the magical solution. I don’t know how to keep all “bad” people out and let all “good” people in. It’s hard and complicated and tricky and risky. But all I know is that they’re people even the “bad” ones. They’re people who deserve to be treated like human beings, like a precious life worthy of living.

And I also know that less than 20% of all immigrants commit serious criminal acts. Most immigrants are arrested and deported for minor crimes like a broken tail light or not using a signal light or for simply existing in the wrong place in the wrong body.

Like I said before, I am frustrated because I want everyone on this planet to be recognized as a human. I am so tired of dehumanization, and we do it all the time. Just the other day I was reading an article about Jajuan Latham, the 12 year old who was shot as an innocent bystander by gun violence, and the comments were absolutely disgusting. The racist language being used was so dehumanizing towards all individuals of color. The violence in their words was almost as bad as the crime itself.

Dehumanization is the third step of genocide, and oh goodness are we there. I’m so scared for this nation and our inability to care or maybe our unwillingness to care. We don’t even care about our own citizens, about our neighbors, let alone the rest of the world. We only care about two things: ourselves and profit. Caring about and helping others doesn’t get us there, does it? So we just don’t do it.

I will say this. It’s easier not to care. Sometimes I miss the times when I didn’t. Caring and acting on that care is exhausting. It takes work, but it is so worth it in the end.

We’re all people created by the Creator and deserving of love and kindness because that’s what Jesus mimicked for us on the cross. He loved the unlovable, cared for the ones not cared for, sought out the ones who were ignored. I strive to be more like that every day, and I really hope you do too. We can start right here, right now on UT’s campus, not allowing the legislature to defund the Office of Diversity and Inclusion because diversity matters.

Guns are not more important than people.

I don’t know when precious guns became more important than actually precious human lives, but I don’t like it. I don’t know when my life became more important than a potential robber’s life, but I don’t like that either.

I also don’t like guns. They terrify me. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t love them. It doesn’t mean that you can’t use them or own them. The second amendment is clear that we all have the right to bear arms.

Guns are such an idol, though. Why is your right to bear arms more important than people in poverty or the oppressed? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why the protection of the second amendment is one of the most fought for issues. Why not the basic rights for those who don’t have any? Food for the hungry? Maybe homes for the homeless? I don’t get it.

And I am absolutely exhausted from hearing about gun violence. Exhausted. And angry. Heartbroken. Confused. Shocked. Dismayed. Depressed.

There’s already been 135 gun deaths in 2016.

Since 2011, there has been a public mass shooting every 64 days.

As President Obama recently pointed out, America is not the only country with violent people, and we are not more prone to violence than other countries. But we are the only advanced country that has mass violence at this scale. And apparently we don’t care. Because when moves are made to try to decrease the violence, we lash out and firmly say no because we’re scared of our precious guns being taken away.

Maybe it’s naivety, but I trust people. I see the good in people. And our President said in his speech that he did not have an agenda to take away your guns, and I believe him.

Gun control is good. Stricter laws on background checks is good. While it will not completely erase gun violence. It will save some lives. And some is better than none.

And “locking away all of the criminals, thugs and bad guys” is not going to more effectively solve the problem than gun control laws.

While I don’t like that mental health care was considered beside gun control like they are one in the same, I am glad that more funding is going to mental health. I find it troubling that the stigma of mental illness is automatically associated with violence, but  many suicides are committed with guns and some gun owners are haunted by mental illnesses that make them violent meaning they probably shouldn’t own guns. Regardless though, mental health is something that desperately needs more attention, and I’m ecstatic that it’s getting some.

Also, guns do need to be safer. Far too many people, children in particular, die from accidental gun injuries. This is a combination of unsafe storage and unsafe manufacturing. Both of which need to be addressed.

And by the way, guns are different than knives. They aren’t comparable. Guns were designed to kill. Knives were not. This is why gun control is significantly more important than something like knife control. People will still die, yes. Maybe from a stab wound. People will still kill. Maybe with a knife. But maybe, just maybe the violence and deaths will decline. And with that slight hope, I say go for it. Change some laws. Make the world a little less violent. A little less heartbreaking.

Because guns are not more important than people.

I don’t completely buy this but let’s say the violence is a people problem. A sin problem perhaps. Maybe we are all just inherently evil. We are violent and want to kill others. So then why won’t we do everything in our power to help limit the violence? Why not make responsible and safe gun laws so that we don’t have easy access to act on that violence? Why not make it easier for us to act on goodness, kindness and love? Because if I had a gun sitting beside me, it would be a whole lot easier for me to act on the anger I have for the person across the room by shooting them than talking it out peacefully. Even though my heart cannot handle violence. Even though I think I’m a pacifist. Even though guns scare the crap out of me.

Many times violence is easier than peace, and we are making it so easy to be violent. We are encouraging violent responses to fear or anger instead of peaceful ones. And I know we can’t fix all of this with gun laws.

Some “good people” do bad things which is why these gun laws won’t prevent all gun violence. Some “bad people” want to own guns for self-defense but would never pick it up to willing kill someone which is why these gun laws may be unfair. They don’t solve everything. But it’s better than nothing. It’s the best thing we’ve got right now.

If you’re against gun control laws, tell me what’s better. Please. I’d really like to know. But don’t tell me in the cruel and condescending way I see in Facebook comments. Like just because someone has a differing opinion they’re an idiot or attacking you. You’re better than that. Tell me how to fix gun violence, gun deaths, without throwing everyone in jail (because I don’t like that) and without gun control laws or taking your guns away (because you don’t like that). What’s in the middle? Let’s work together and figure it out.

In all honesty, though, I would be perfectly satisfied if guns didn’t exist.

And here we are at the end of some word vomit about gun control that might make everyone hate me. I hope you enjoyed.

Here’s the full text of Obama’s speech: https://sojo.net/articles/full-text-president-obamas-emotional-speech-gun-control

Feminism (and a few bonus rants)

Feminism. It’s a scary word for some people… and rightly so I guess. I mean the media depicts feminists as people who are man-hating, bra burners (that happened one time, y’all). But the truth is, that’s not the majority. Just like within any group, the media only shows the small minority of negative and ignores the majority of positive (I could write a whole blog about that). I am a feminist because we need feminism. We need feminism for multiple reasons. Here’s a few.

1. A girl’s favorite color can literally be any color, but boys aren’t allowed to like colors such as pink and purple.
2. Girls are held to higher modesty standards than boys.
3. Women, who have the exact same job and qualifications as men, are paid 78 cents while men make a dollar.
4. African American women make even less at 64 cents to a white man’s dollar.
5. The United States is the only country that doesn’t have paid maternity leave.
6. The United States is also one of three countries that doesn’t have guaranteed paternity leave.
7. There aren’t changing tables in men’s restrooms.
8. Men are expected to hide their feelings and not express them.
9. If a woman is assertive, she’s seen as *insert curse word here*
10. There are more male CEOs with the name John than all women CEOs combined.

And I could go on and on, but I’m not going to because hopefully you get the point. With those ten facts, I’m not even mentioning sexualization, objectification and the problems with the way we handle sexual assaults and rapes. I didn’t mention the fact that I hate shaving my legs with a passion, but I have to because I’m a woman. I didn’t mention a lot of things. All of you should just watch Miss Representation. It’s a great documentary. You should also research stuff about gender inequality and get informed! Being informed is so so so important.

I am well aware that I’ve spent a lot of time writing about feminism and issues surrounding gender inequality. Probably half of my blog posts mention at least a little something about it. I rant about it on a daily basis in various forms and have a group message with a few friends that’s titled “Women’s Rights and Stuff.” But I’m not going to shut up about it because it’s a real problem. A real problem that too many people don’t take seriously. It’s not just a bunch of women trying to overtake the world while walking around shirtless and burning bras (even though that would be cool…). It’s a bunch of women AND men who want gender equality, and that’s not a bad thing. Because men need feminism just as much as women do. It’s something that will benefit every human on the planet (I focused here on the United States, but gender inequality is even worse in other countries around the world and feminism is needed in those countries too). I just wish people would stop thinking of feminism as this terrible word that they can’t associate with. Everyone should want to be a feminist. If you don’t, I don’t hate you. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want gender equality.

Next up, a rant about how not all people in America have the money, opportunity and ability to get the education and skill required for a job that’s higher than minimum wage. So, maybe minimum wage should be a livable wage.

I’m also a little heated right now about “Christians” calling others who have different opinions/views/ideas than them extremely mean and hateful names. That’s not Jesus. It’s nowhere close to Jesus. Sigh.

Rape, Sexual Assault and Consent

Rape. I’ve been hearing a lot about that word recently.

Rather it be the amount of UT alerts about sexual assaults I’ve gotten the past few weeks (and by the way for all of those who think this is a recent thing, it’s not. These sexual assaults happening on campus have always happened. They are just just now being reported.) or the fact that my sister and I just had a moral conversation about sex and consent for my Philosophy class, and we talked about it in depth in class a few days later or the news exposing all of the YouTubers who have been accused of sexual assault in some form or fashion (http://unpleasantmyles.tumblr.com/post/79455706244/tom-milsom-hexachordal-heres-the-post-olga The master list of everything that’s going on in the YouTube community… it’s crazy). Basically it’s everywhere so I’m going to talk about it.

**Disclaimer: I’m going to talk about this in the men towards women standpoint because that is statistically what happens the most often. I am well aware that it does go the other way. Probably more than we think, but for the sake of this blog I’m going to talk about women being the victims.

I’ve noticed that in the UT alert and the YouTube situations that after one person comes out about it, others follow. A lot of people criticize women for not telling people about it. I’m not going to lie, I am one of those people. I find myself very often angry at the ones who don’t report it to the police, but I’m wrong to be angry. Yes girls should report it or at least tell someone, but they have valid reasons not to. Most of the time they are too scared that the person who did it to them will do something worse if they find out it was reported or the girl is just too traumatized by the event to recount it multiple times during the process of reporting it. Others don’t understand this, though. I don’t understand it. Because we’ve never been there, but I think it’s so important for all of us to sympathize with them and understand and create some sort of safe environment for women to share their stories, and I think that with both of these situations, the environment was created and women have begun to share. That’s the first step.

Now, I think it’s important to establish what rape means. The technical definition is “the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.” That doesn’t explain much to most people though. Many people think rape is just the act of physically forcing someone to have sex with them. It’s so much more than that. We went through a phase in our history where we said things such as “No means no,” and that’s how we defined rape. This is great except for when the woman is silent. Or isn’t in the state of mind to make an actual decision. Or  is pressured or given no other option but to say yes. So the new thing that is arising is “Yes means yes.” Otherwise known as Affirmative Consent. California passed a state bill very recently saying:

“An affirmative consent standard in the determination of whether consent was given by both parties to sexual activity. ‘Affirmative consent’ means affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is the responsibility of each person involved in the sexual activity to ensure that he or she has the affirmative consent of the other or others to engage in the sexual activity. Lack of protest or resistance does not mean consent, nor does silence mean consent. Affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time. The existence of a dating relationship between the persons involved, or the fact of past sexual relations between them, should never by itself be assumed to be an indicator of consent.”

Now, a lot of people argue that this movement makes basically all sex rape. This isn’t true, though. It’s only rape if one of the people involved doesn’t consent to it, and consent means saying yes.

Consent isn’t obtained when:

• Coercion takes place (occurrent (actual harm) or dispostional (threat))
• Deception takes place (lying or not disclosing relevant facts meaning that the person would say no to sex if they knew the fact)
• One or both parties are under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or any other substance causing them to not make accurate decisions
• One is silent
• A previous or current sexual relationship, dating relationship, etc. exists
• Two people are married (spousal rape does exist)
• Consent was given on a previous occasion
• One doesn’t protest physical force
• One’s attire, reputation or acceptance to go to a place seems to suggest something
• One is pressured into giving consent when on normal occasions they wouldn’t

(The list could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.)

It’s important to point out that rape isn’t the only thing that I’m concerned about. I’m also speaking in terms of other types of sexual assault. These include such things as touching someone’s butt or boobs or whatever else. I would even go as far to say as kissing without consent could be considered sexual assault. Anything with a sexual connotation is sexual assault if consent from both people isn’t given.

From a guy’s perspective, I know this probably all sounds absurd. Most guys probably find this ridiculous. Reason being, they don’t think it’s a big deal. They don’t see the harm in most of what I’ve talked about. (Note: I’m not saying all guys think this, but a large number of them do.) They can’t “control themselves.” And a lot of times they get away with it because of these types of excuses. A lot of times the victim is blamed because of such things like what she was wearing. But THAT’S actually what’s ridiculous. A girl never asks for it, ever. And if a man so easily thinks that a girl wants that, he’s wrong, and he needs to evaluate the situation better. So many times a man lets his lust control his actions instead of his brain or more importantly his heart, and that’s where the mistake lies. But it’s not even their fault because our society has taught boys to behave that way. They aren’t supposed to use their heart or emotions. They’re supposed to be strong and forceful and manly. Why can’t they be both depending on the situation?

I think many times men just don’t understand women… and honestly, that could be our own faults. Our society has created this view that men shouldn’t understand women and women shouldn’t understand men, and maybe that’s because we’ve made ourselves so separated through gender roles or maybe it’s not. But either way, it’s a problem. We need to understand each other. If we did, sexual assault wouldn’t happen. So here’s some things that men need to know about women.

1. It is very common for the minority in a group to set a bad example for the actual majority of the group… the women who seem to love being viewed as an object and enjoy being sexualized are few, but because of social media, advertisements, movies, etc. it seems like most women are okay with it. The truth is we’re not. Even some of the women who seem to love it, hate it. So don’t treat us like objects. We’re human too.
2. 99% of the time, we don’t want to make you a sandwich. You’re perfectly capable.
3. Women struggle just as badly with lust as men. Men’s excuse of “we can’t control ourselves.” is one of the most ridiculous excuses I’ve ever heard. (I wrote an in-depth blog about this… https://mikaylaannm.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/women-struggle-too/)
4. I briefly mentioned this before, but women have reasons to not report sexual assault so don’t judge them for not reporting. Just listen and offer to help.
5. Women also have reasons to go back to the person who assaulted them. According to my sister’s Social Work book, some of these are economic dependence, lack of self-confidence, lack of power, fear of the abuser, guilt, feeling isolated with nowhere to go, fear for her children, and love.

Basically, what I’m trying to get across is that something needs to change. According to this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miaiLpGY6O4&list=UUc4yillQaNo6a-iG2PYbbrA (which is really good and you should watch it), 1 in 3 women are sexually assaulted by age 22 and 1 in 6 men are. That’s a lot of people. This can only change if people are aware. Men, women, boys, girls, dogs, everyone. If people knew, something could change. So spread the word. Tell people the facts. Make people care. Share your story.