Sometimes it is just necessary to write a response to a post… this is one of those times.
This blog is in response to this blog: http://mountaintopfloridiot.blogspot.com/2014/07/modesty-what-most-men-wont-tell-you.html
A disclaimer to start off… I’m not saying I disagree with everything in this post nor am I saying that this person’s opinions are wrong. I’m just saying that my opinions differ from most of the things written, and I am sharing my differing opinions with you.
I also want to begin by saying that in no way at all am I against modesty. I think that women should dress modestly if not to keep men from stumbling, then to simply respect themselves and their bodies. But I also believe that while I think it’s appropriate to cover up certain parts of my body, not everyone feels that way and I respect that. I also believe that there are different definitions of what modesty is. My definition is simply covering up your chest and your butt. But other people’s definitions could include more or less than that, and that’s okay.
I didn’t read the blog post that the author of this particular blog is responding to so I’m not sure how similar or different our opinions are, but I do agree with some of the quotes that were quoted in the blog.
For example, the author begins the blog with the quote “…men are responsible for their own thoughts and actions when this happens; they don’t get to blame it on what a woman is wearing.” He agreed with this and so do I. He admits that it is the man who is sinning, but he also places some of the blame on the woman which I find unfair. The reason I find this unfair is because throughout his whole post, he seems to blame it on the fact that since he’s a man, it’s hard for him to look at a girl with a bikini on and not look at her like an object. My question is… what about women? All men ever do is act like since they are men, they don’t have self-control. The Bible clearly states “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23). It doesn’t say “self-control (except for men).” Women struggle with sexual sins too. If women need to cover up more, men need to stop wearing baseball pants (or not), suits, and no shirts. The thing is men go shirtless all the time, and women aren’t immune to that. We just try a little harder to have self-control. We look at men as men and not a sexual object. And we just don’t understand why men can’t at least try to have self-control instead of just blaming the fact that they don’t on their male-ness. I am aware that male and female were created differently so yes, it’s probably harder for men to have self-control than women. But at least try. That’s all we ask.
“Now ladies, I don’t think you realize how much of a struggle sexual sin is for men, but suffice it to say that I do not know a single guy who does not struggle sexually in some way.” We do realize it, actually and most of the time when we dress immodestly, it isn’t to impress you or to make you look at us. It’s to impress other women. Honestly, men who don’t think we’re beautiful in our pajamas aren’t worth our time. So, the way we dress isn’t always about you. And also, I don’t know a single girl who doesn’t struggle sexually in some way either. Again I say, baseball pants.
And it actually just flat out made me angry when he said that it’s hard for men to not look at women as objects. Last time I checked, a phone is an object and a human being, no matter the age or gender, is a human being, and it shouldn’t ever for anyone be hard to look at a person and see them as a person.
Also a random side note, there is no way in the world that women can wear long pants and turtlenecks in the summer. Unless you want every woman to die of a heat stroke.
Like I previously mentioned, I am happy with the author’s owning up to the sin. But while although, he doesn’t want to place the entire blame on women, he still places some of it on them. And I do agree that the way women dress can cause a man to stumble, but it also goes the other way. What men wear can cause women to stumble too, and that’s something that men don’t seem to realize. Or if they do, they put all of their focus on their problems and their sin rather than thinking about what they do to affect women.
I 100% agree with the author when he talks about how men need to be taught at a young age to treat women with respect and not as objects. He goes on to say “it will be easier to train our children not to see women as objects if they will stop presenting themselves in such a way.” And although that is true, I must say that not every woman presents herself as an object. Just because a woman wears shorts and a tank top, doesn’t mean she sees herself as an object or intends to present herself that way. There are women in the world who’s intent is that, but most aren’t and men just assume that that is every woman’s intent.
And this particular statement makes me pretty darn angry: “In the same way was the female body meant primarily for the enjoyment of her husband.” For someone who spent the whole post talking about how women shouldn’t be objectified, that sounds pretty objectifying to me. I’m pretty positive the female body was not created solely for the enjoyment of a man. Sex was created to reproduce and while it’s okay to enjoy it in marriage, the reason it was created was to have children. You don’t marry a woman for the enjoyment of seeing her body or having sex. And that might not have been what was meant by that statement, but that’s sure how it sounded, and I don’t like that at all.
My last point that I want to make is in response to a response he had to a comment on his blog. I agree with the girl’s comment, and in his response back, he agreed too, but one thing he said got to me. He said “Frankly, the reason nobody talks about modesty for men is because it is not mentioned in the Bible. Women are the ones commanded to be modest according to scripture, not men.” He has a point in saying that most verses about modesty in the Bible are directed towards women, but I don’t think that men should use that as an excuse to allow women to stumble. Just because the Bible doesn’t directly point you out, it doesn’t mean you should do it. Because the Bible says to not allow other believers to stumble, that gives men the only option as to dress modestly also. And I am sure that the Bible only mentions women because God knows that men struggle with this more. BUT men aren’t the only ones who struggle, and that’s what I want to get across to men. Women struggle with this too.
I will end by saying that if there is something that I’ve written that is not Biblically sound, I’d like to know. I feel fairly strongly about this subject and my opinions sound pretty firm, but I’m open to altering my opinions if there is something in the Bible that clearly disagrees with my opinion on the subject. So please let me know if there is something in here that is wrong (by Bible standards, not your own personal opinion standards). Also, feel free to share your opinions (in a nice way) because I really enjoy hearing others’ thoughts.